Rainy Season?

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Assalammualaikum my brothers and sisters!
Greetings to all of you out there!

Its been a super long time since my last confessions! muahahaha!
Its my PC lah, Crashed again. Cant be bothered anymore. Currently enjoying da sun at my cuzz crib. Life has taken through unexpected journey through narrow streams. Its wierd how God test his subjects. WHen you think all hope is gone, then there's light!

I sold off my KTM after i torn my ligament. hahah..i miss trailing. What happen after dat, got myself a 4 wheeler! crazy right? I dunno wat went through my head when i got it except to bring happiness to my family n those ard me. Indeed it has.

What heppen to dat small bike of mine dat brought me to melacca? hahaha..well, lets just say, i got an itchy hand! hehehe..

The journey to enlightenment aint an easy one. Searching yourself aint an easy thing to do. At times you doubt your own abilities..and ask WHY?

People are suffering ard da world and you ask yourself wat can u do to ease the pain. "Bencana Alam telah tiba, akan datang mungkin lebih dashat. Marilah kita berdoa sama2 agar semua selamat."

Adventures n Misadventures

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Greetings everyone!
I'm the type of person who lives by da day. Mostly forgets events almost instantly unless it sumhow has a significant impact. Even so, these memories will be shadows in an instant. Kind of what you call "cloudy". Which is why i like to keep photos (stangely i dun really like to take photos of myself), i like da surprise/shocking feelin as i brouse through the photos, n memories flashes in my mind! Things i did but forgoten. People whom i met. Places where i've been.

So today i'd like to share with the world wat a small adventure i had and a misadventure that lead to my injury!
Few mths back, after getting my class 2a license i was tempted to upgrade my bike but the thought of waiting fer class 2 was more practical at that point of time. I wasn't craving for speed nor touring. I wanted to do smtg diff frm da guys. i wanted to learn in depth true control and manuveres on 2wheels. Coincidentally a fren was letting go his KTM LC4, a 400cc 4 stroker also known as thumper, mean machine with da weight of a horse!! This old bird is more den 10 yrs old but flies like vrrrrroooommmmm....hehehe

So i told da guy i'll get ur bike only if ur willing to teach me to trail!!! He's dwn grading to a more powerful evil 250cc 2-stroker. Dats when da adventure began! Scray as it is, da height, da weight da POWER da SOUND!!! Wicked!!!

I still remember da 1st trip to plentong, at jb, GOSH HOW MANY TIMES I FELL!! not to mention HARD!!! Further to da spice it was raining! imagine da slipperyness!!
Painful as it is, its worth it! I got home my whole body aches like f%$&!!! I couldnt move wifout feelin da pain!!

Fer those who haf no idea wat nonsense i'm tokin abt, i took up trailin in da forest or rather plantation sumwhere in jb. Not by foot but on dirt wheels! Basically i learnt to handle da bike on difficult n slippery situations..untill...my last trip, on da way to kota tinggi via dirt, i crashed hard while evading from my friend! My right foot sumhow got stuck to da dirt while flyin off. It was over den. I was in agony. I noe it aint a fracture coz i had some b4..I got myself together n tighten my boots to minimise da pain.

I got hm safely, opened my boots, to my surprise, my foot doubled its size right before my eyes! In my heart, "mati..mati..mati.."hahaha..Got to da poly, den to da hospital..bla..bla..bla..i got a ligament tear! DEY WANTED TO PUT SREWS IN MY FOOT!! So, i disappeared! hehehe..Currently learnin to adapt to my new foot. On n off it hurts lah.. Takdir ;)

Hear are sum of the photos..enjoy



  

  

  

  




  

  

Rise from the ashes!

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Peace upon all of u!

Its been like wat? mths? so much has happened since my PC crashed. Lookin back i dun even noe where to begin! Adventures i had and not to forget da mis-adventures as well dat landed me wif dis permenant injury..Dis coming Sept is gonna be super darn busy...As da song goes, "..wake me up when sept ends!" i cant wait fer it to pass! Looking out da window now, dark clouds hoverin in fast. Its been a hot mth but dis kind of darkness is kinda scary. Reminds me of the show "Twister". Freaky. Perhaps its a gentle reminder dat da end is near! =)

Till i inspire to blog again, take good care of urself. May God be Wif us always.

rEcOvery fRom mElAccA tRip

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Good afternoon readers! wOw! I still cant get over da fact dat i rode dat far! Right now, i'm in a delima, as to wheather or not to get a scrambler..hehehe..

Just imagine, to go trailin in da jungle! hhehehe...a new milestone!

so much fer dat..will be busy very soon. Werk stuff..Let me rephrase, SupEr duPER pAck till october! =(

Will be uploadin my very first photo album soon! hehehe..saty tune!

bAcK fRoM MeLaCcA!!

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

I mAdE It!!! mY dReAMs cAmE tRuE!!! a 487 km jOurnEy fRom mY cRib To mELaCcA n bAcK! bEsT sTill ON MY X1!!! A 110cc BIKE!!!

dA jOurNey bEgAn onN 280506 aT abT 0830. wE wErE sUpPoSe tO meEt uP aT aBt 0730 bUt i gOt cAuGhT uP wIf sMtG aT wErK. yUpz wEnT dArE aFtEr wErK(24hRs) wIf LeSs sLeEp!!!

wE sTarTeD dA tRiP wIf bReAkfAsT aT JB wHiCh i tReAtEd cOz i wAs lAtE! hEhEhE
da CrUsInG sPeEd wAS abt 140km/h oN mY sPeeDo, on a bigGer bIkE iT wIll bE ABt 100-110km\h! vErY sLoW sIA!
hEhEhE..

i dUnNo wAt To bLog Abt, cOz picTurEs tElls a tHoUsAnd wOrDs..buT mY cAmErA bRokE dOwN hAlF wAy! =(

tAkE cArE!
eNjOy dA pHotOs..

mElAcCa??

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

lIfE'S fUll oF uPs n dOwNs..sUmtImeS..fUll oF sHit!! hAhAhA...

dIs wEeKeNd oUt tO mElAcCa fEr a SupEr sHorT gEt aWAy..oN MY tWO WhEeLs!!!
eXicItIng..hEhEhE..lIke fEr oNcE cAn rEallY rUn aWAy fRm eVeRYthIn aNd fOrgEt eVeRytHin...lIke a sPeCiaL sElF tReAt! tO cElEbRatE mYsElfF oN cErTaIn acCoMplIsHmEnT dAt amAzE mYsElF..wOrK oF gOd sUm mIgHt sAy..nOw oFf tO sLeEp iN dIs lAtE aFtErNoOn..lAtEr gOtTa pRePaRE mY bIkE fEr dA tRiP...
sO lOoKiN fOrWaRd tO iT!!!

rIdErS nIgHt'S oUt

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

gOod mOooRin! fEw hRs TimE ofF tO wErK!! sIoW lIaO! hEhEhE..wEnt to MeEt uP dA gIn gANg n wEnT to Al AmIn oPp bEaUtY WorLd..kewl..gOt oFfER..sUm1 wAnnA lEt Go KTM LC4! 400 Cc!! aNd iTs CheAp! fUyOO!! tEmpTin! hEhEhE..

aSk hIm tO aSk fEr mE!! hEhEhE..aFtER wHiCh WenT to Da oLd mAnsIoN At hIll vIew..crEepY lIkE cRaZY bUt tOO bAd lOckEd..kWanG3...mUst sEarCh fEr Da sTorY bEhInD iT..aNyOnE oUt dArE nOeS????

SeLf-trEaT

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

hAd mY iPpt eArLy dIs mOrn..dIn rEaLLy pReParEd, aS uSuAl nEvER a GoLd mEdAlIsT..bUt sOoN InsYa-AllAh...hEhE..At leAst cLeAreD!!!
pREtTy mUcH oN dA nEt aFter iPpT...dEn iN dA eVe, DEcIdEd tO cAtCh A mOvIe...MI3!!! oF cOz aLonE..sElF tReAt kAte..gOt AnnOyIn kIdS ArD...gRrRR..hAf wAy bOdY wAs tIrEd sIa...gIvIn uP..

dA sHoW?
dArN pOwERRRR~~dIs tIme gOt mUsHy2 sTuFf =( lOvIng2 sToRy eNdEd iN A gD wAy..hEhEhE...

rEmInDs mE oF mY iMaGiNAtIoN bEcOmIn An iNtELLigEncE aGEnT! lol

lOvE n aLL iTs bULL

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

yEaH...LoVE suckS..gUEss i mUsT bE curSed..rElAtiOnsHipS r a faIlUrE tO mE...jUst my lucK
..wIf rElAtIoNsHiP cOmEs lOvE, dEn jElOuSy, dEn iNsEcUrItY, nOt tO mEntiOn aLL dA dIsApPoInMeNtS..aLL dA hOpEs..aLL dA dReAms..nOt tO mEnTiOn dA mIsSeS, dA aNger..aLL dA nEgAtIvIty aNd pOsivItY of lOvE..I gUesS it cOmEs in A pAcKaGe..lOvE, sIgH..

sUmtImEs dUn U fEeL lIkE gIvIn uP..sO sAD So SaD..NOThIn LaSt 4EvA..oF cOuRsE u cAnT oBsTrUCt dA peRsOn fRm dOin wAt IT wAntS..lEArN iT dA hArD wAy..jUsT sWoLLoW iT aNd sOoNeR or lAtEr mY hEArT 'LL fAiL..gUes i'll dO wAt i dO bESt......yUp u gUesS iT, diSaPpeAr..nO nOt rUnNiN AwAy, jUsT bEiN wIf oNeSelF, hOpEfullY tO fInD pEACE..peRhAps, i'll aWakEn wHen i'M fOuNd AgAiN..eLsE..........

wAt A dIsApPoInTmEnT...

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Haf u ever loved someone dearly dat u decided to stay away? Just to prevent things frm getting worst or becoz ur disappointed of smtg..Well, in life shits happens..you cant predict it accurately at times. N Sometimes u make wrong conter measures and things goes wrong!

Its bad enough dat sum1 dun really noe who u r, or wat ur intentions r, or wat u do for cryin out loud!
DUN JUDGE OR PASS UNECESSARY REMARKS DAT U ASSUME! ASSUMTIONS ARE THE MOTHER OF ALL FUCK UPS!
Wats worst dis person spoke in btw the lines! Y cant dey just be direct..HaH! I guess wat annoied most is wen dis person said how easy my job is..hahaha..bla..bla..bla..something abt busy n all sort of shit lah..mostly in btw da lines..Old ppl..wat dey noe..always judging by its cover. of coz bein me, i could haf created a scene but..just smiled all da way..so disappointing..so nonsense..
Wat can i say..just do wat i do best..disappear!

Long time no see!

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Greetings and salutations!
Wow! Been a really long time. Just got my pc formatted recently. Alot has happen since my last entry. Impossible to summarise i suppose.
My persian cat almost died, had some sort of uterus infection. She was bleedin as if having mensus fer like 2weeks! Fortunately took her to the vet in the nick of time. Has a surgery and removed it. basically had to spay her.
I guess dats one of the shockin news..hehehe
Besides dat, I upgraded my license..haha..ermm..
Currently i'm on course fer like 3 weeks or so. yupz the final stage of my course i suppose. Wait up fer da headlines dis coming jun or july! Hopefully i'll be all over the news! ;) *yeah rite*

I'm cutting down of my outside activities. Seems like i've neglecting those close to me and even myself perhaps...Not enough time to even reflect on myself. Now dat i got the chance, i dun even know how to start.

had a demoralising incident de other day at werk. But...classified stuff..hahaha.. Go buy strait times and read fer urself..

By da way my cuzz getting engage tomorrow! N my fren getting married. wats de odds of dat?

kwang..kwang..kwang...
Take care readers!

27th March 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Wanderin ard central s'pore all alone seems kinda aimless, but it helps me destress. It sumhow reflects the emptiness and the loneliness inside me. Things I've yet to understand. Riding dese days aint da same..Now, paying particular attention to road names and my sense of direction. It aint easy but i haf to put in effort. Now dat i'm turnin out alone.

Went to watch Kallang Race dis morn rite after werk wif my cuzz. WOW! Could it be me next?

25th February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

All seems outta place but I'm sure when da dust settles da purpose is revealed! A desire to study has engulfed my heart but da path is too smoky to see. noting is acertain at dis moment as da new breed of specialist is underway. Whether or not it will be established is another question. If it does..How dangerous is it? No insurance can cover it. If da threat so happens, we haf but only one chance of survival. Y? Y do we do dis? The ans is very much simple. Fer our family, fer our loved ones, fer our frenz fer our nation. If we were to go, we go knowing we made a difference. We are but only humans. Forgive us my frenz forgive us God. Remember us always, not as heros, but as frenz who gave our lives so dat u may haf a better one.

24th February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory".

Finally! Graduated from course!
Wow! How time flies.. Now its back to stn life =( A wholes mth of werk is waitin fer me...hmmm..
Nothing much to blog abt today. Probably coz i'm too tired i suppose..
take care..

23rd February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

FINALLY!!
I JUST FINISHED MY FINAL EXERCISE!!! It was super HOT and tiring! We had 3 consecutive incidents to wrap up our course! At the end of it, he told us our results, comprising of our theory, hands on and exercise!

I cant believe it. So young in da force and now i'm a specialist. Alhamdullilah Syukur...My body is aching like hell. Did i mention i just got home? hahaha..at abt 2100hrs!! We waited quite sum time fer our dorm key. dis dimwit returned da key wifout anyone's knowledge! F*&%! lol..

Msg boo i passed but..hmmm..disappointing reply. Perhaps she's too happy out wif her frenz..Wateva..

Tomorrow's my graduation or rather my passin out. Told my mom to sow on da velcrow fer my tag..hehe..Maybe i should go out and celebrate..álthough i'm kinda super exhausted..Syukur Alhamdullilah..

22nd February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Dey say time heals all wounds. but can one really forgive and forget? or perhaps forgive and remember? Even worst..Forget but never forgive!! how r u gonna ans in ur after life? Sum ppl uses anger to overcome dis feelin. Sum uses sorrow to flood it..Sum would even go to the extend of vengence! God forgive us all...

When a person is all forgivin and patience up to the brink, dun be surprise da fact dat u haf lost ur wild cards! no more room fer forgiveness. hehehe..Wow.. Which is y trust is the up most of importance. To receive one's trust is like holdin his/her life in ur hands. Its a living thing! To break it is to kill it. It can be as simple as 'meeting time' or as deep as ur secrets. Another word fer it, 'amanah'. Dis one word tells a million. its weightage in de afterlife is far too great fer one to bear. how many promises haf u broken?

i had quite a hot tiresome day. I'll bet tomorrow'll be worst. Found out a few of my frens fail their theory. Which is y i'm goin to help dem in a min or so. Its also a gd way to recap watever i've learnt. after all, knowledge is POWER!
I'm not sure how i'll fair in my overall performance. Insya-Allah.

Fer those who is lost to wat i'm goin through..Actually i've been selected to be part of the new breed of specialist. in order to be one i'm currenly bein trained to be a HazMat specialist. Wat it means? Harzardous Materials..bla..Bla.Bla..hehehe..Dats all fer now. i dun like to blaber abt my werk life in cyber world. addious!

21st February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Good evening.
I just got home from quite a travel ard singapore! Actually after my coz from Jalan Bahar all da way to CCK den upper srangoon den back to boon keng den to bencoolen makan place den hm! LoL..along da way my fren's bike ran outta fuel, luckly i spotted him..Hehehe..

My morning started off wif a surprise sms from my ex. Asking fer my erm or rather our previous bike's plate no. Apparently sum1 bought it n its sumwhere near her place..
I ask her how she was and when's she's gonna settle down. And guess wat! Sumwhere in 2008! Not de ans i hoped fer..*grins* I told her, "He must be sum1 special to haf opened ur heart to marriage." And she replied "He inspires me".
I wonder in my past did i ever not be da perfect person..I know towrds de end i became some1 super negative. A bitter person i suppose. I wonder how i am now..I mean towards boo. At times i haf been cold towards her. But to tell ya da truth. i think dats only 1%! hehehe..I always get angry especially on da road whenever i manouve in traffic and suddenly she moves or da things she carries causes da bike to move and i hafta take evasive action. Dis kinda things, really scares da shit out of me. Sumtime i feel like askin her to ride and i sit behind. haha..small issue u think? be in my shoe! I'm surprise dat ms ex remembers my/our bike no. We had a near death exp on dat bike. DAT I DUN WANNA RE-LIVE IT AGAIN!!! ( boo...scary u knoe..)And i remember crashing several times out of anger fer her. haha..how stupid back den. how Naive i was.
Memories..memories..Sweet Memories. How it hurts..How it tears you. "We once thought we were made fer each other but in the end we were just stepping stones" dis is wat i msg her.."It would be an honour to attend ur wedding even though i'm not the one sitting beside you" sumwat da final sms. Sooner or later, she'll be terminating her lines n disappear.
I guess dis is the key word or rather the key event i've been waitin 4. The phrase or rather the action dat states dat dare is no more hope, no more room left. Time to move one. Dun get me wrong, i haf moved on, just dat at times...hahaha..hope..hope, false hope. Sumtimes to just wanna make sre its really over..
To heal one's heart you hafta forgive. Especially urself. I've been blaming myslef fer da past yrs dat has gone by. Only God knows. So much so dat now i dun recognize happiness and even love ..dat is right in front of me. My heart has close. God forgive me. only HE knows how much tears my darlin has shed while knocking da doors to my heart.
Everyone's ard me is getting engagged or plan fer marriage. Even my ex. but i'm nowhere dare. i used to but..At times i just feel dat i'll be rather happy bein alone. Sumwat like punishin myself..Kate rg dulu2, bawa diri..I know a few who are like dat. Too heart broken til dey grow old alone. I dun wanna be like dat either.
I dun think so i'm ready fer marriage even boo if i may say so myself. Too much responsibility. i'm da eldest and my responsibilty falls on my parents and siblings coz i'm de only son. boo's de ONLY CHILD! So question is, where do my responsibilties fall? Its too scary to think of. Dats not de only issue. Dare are lots of others. Wat abt my goals or ambitions? Haha..scary..

BOo's planin to go overseas wif her gerlfrens and i'm like...erm..sigh..I'm not saying she cant go, neither i'm sayin she can go..hmmm..just in da middle of nowhere. I dun wanna stress myself any further. So many things coming up. i'm just glad i cleared my exam. just waiting fer da results. While waitin, i gt field ex and final ex coming up da next few days. Den sun back to werk wif HIGHRISE ex!! Sigh...

Boo was sweet yesterday tryin to cheer me up or rather pujuk. hehehe.. I actully zonked da min i lay me head on da bed. She called and started yecking abt overseas and dis and dat...Sum how half asleep i got pissed off! Who wouldn't! Da tought of gals goin overseas to sum 3rd world country bla..bla..bla..especially half asleep, or rather 3/4 asleep..ayooo...

Sumtimes i do miss her..maybe coz of our werkin schedule. it spells out NO TIME! hahaha..I tink most of da time i'm just too afraid to commit. Love is a scary thing..It poisonous..and contageous! SAY NO TO LOVE!!! YES TO SEX!!! Den again wat is SEx witout Love? Den wat abt LoVE withOut SEX??? hahahahahahaha... Dun worry ladies and gentleman, i'm not a horny sex maniac..just a ssleepy guy wif a corny joke..Addios amigoes!!!

19th February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Good evening!
Few hours to my exam and i studied no shit! Sigh..Dunnoe wats become of me. Surfed ard fer courses offered be poly fer part time. SP is still da best offerin "pure dip"ulike TP and NP offerin Dip in Tech den u pick ur specialisation: (chem) (biz IT) or smtg like dat..haha..

All these planning I dunnoe if it can be executed. Life's like a train ride, wif so many stops but always on da move. Not to mention hurdles here and there. I dunnoe if I can make it tomorrow. Sumhow it'll make a diff in my life. Like a cross road, but dis time it makes da decision u haf to only wait.
I tried studyin, since yesterday. but sumhow nothing is registering. De other day was amazing, able to digest in a snap. Perhaps I've used up da "magic" hahaha..Its all in da mind! its all in da mind! Finishin up my cup of coffe den off to study..

Small minds are much distressed by little things. Great minds see them all but are not upset by them

16th February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Ahhh! Greetings!!
I'm on MC today! Been a very long time since i've taken an MC! hehehe..Y? Energy kinda low and tomorow's my prac test!!! Mon's my theory test!! Werk is calling me from stn!!! GRRRR!!
It all spells out STRESS!
Just one more week den i'll pass out! Ayooo...
Din know chemistry could be sooo fun! hehehe..Nope, I'm not back at sch but actually attending a specialist course. Its all back to basics, chem, maths, bio physics..hahaha..Well, more of a pinch of this and that plus lotsa memorising werk! All da equipments and detectors and procedures..Fooyooo..
And not forgetting ENDURANCE!!! Physical and MENTAL! AGGRRRGGHHH!!!! Ayooo..oppss..Back to my studying..shhhsss..

07th February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Evening Alas!
Thy blood still burns in fury despite a tiresome day. A walk which will leave ur mind and body to part. Under the scorching hot sun in ur fully encapsulated suit made of some kind of rubber, u walk carrying a load which seems to get heavier and heavier by the minute. Ur arms weaken ur neck stiffen beyond tolerance ur mind starts to sway around and u keep telling ur body to go straight...Then.. Almost at the end when my air supply was cut off! I tot i ran out of air and panicked! Gasping for air I took out my suit...Mission Failed.
I was grouped as one of the failures. A WEAKLING! my blood boils wif anger. Even worst, i found out later that somehow my air supply was turned off. how could dis be possible? An act of God? but y? Wats in store for me? Wats the meaning of all this? My mind and body remains restless till i get my "retest"..Anger..unsatisfied...

5th February 2006

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Hi..
Wow! Its been sooo long. I dun even know where to begin. Life's riding faster then an aeroplane. One minute ur problem solving the next ur trying untie a misundertanding. Be it at werk or in ur social life. But i thank God, that in the mist of my unpredictable vast challenges, HE still rewards me wif fun and friends. True ones I suppose. One tat understands when ur busy one dat lends a listenin ear when ur in need. One dat creates a fun atmosphere just to make u forget ur problems ur conflicts ur pain...
Believe it or not, I've been to more then 3 camping by the sea in such a short time span. Family and friends. Each has a memory of its own. I suppose the most memorable one was at changi beach. Out of the blue we called eached other and decided to pitch up. And dat was late evening! LoL..Sumhow it happen. Although dare were some misunderstandings. I suppose its part and parcel of life. All these misunderstandings. Its a matter of how u wanna look at it. To ignore it and pretend nothing happen? To confront it diplomatically? Its a difficult thing to do i agree but not an impossible task. One haf to swollow one's ego to make the first move. Either dat, or put up thick skin..
I'm sure u would agree wif me, Friction occurs everywhere anywhere and anytime. Its a matter of how we lubricate it.
I just came back from bbq cum camping as a gatherin for ex xishanites. It started of wif a huge load of friction. I dun even know how to begin..I dun even know wat i did wrong. Just da words still lingers in my mind. A "fren" said such harsh words. In the first place i wasn't even talking to her knowing sumhow she was in a bad mood. Of all ppl, i still cant believe it came from her. I din realise my frens changed so fast...even Heard opinions from others ..Well its her life. Sometimes ppl are put through harsh rides dat makes one change, to become cold n bitter, coz dey need to haf a strong heart. Not to weep n give up in harsh times. But of course such changes will haf negative impact. I still feel so sad. AS if i've lost a fren and a long wif it a brother...Wierd..I felt a few negative vibes from several peeps while at the pit. Even from ppl whom i bear a grudge because of my past. How i ended up dare? hahaha..I had no intention of coming to da bbq but..well, i miss my frens..den i accidently saywzamzam! At da traffic light near Still rd. So i tot why not...The first face dat greeted me wif happiness was Gee! She was wif her fiance or is it bf? hehehe..One of the sisters i miss..
The whole gaterin din start off wif a good foot. Plus i made some bad impressions..So i think dis will be da last of its kind for me. I'll do wat i do best, stay busy and disappear..to stay in da outer circle. dat way i'll cause lesser damage! ;) Wats worst, it was boo's first overnight n well, it din turn out quite well..Disappointing..
One thing fer sure, ms bettle n mr tweedle seems to be madly in love! I'm happy fer them. knowing the depths of mr tweedle, i'm sure ms bettle will find comfort n strengths in him. God is all knowing n fair. He gives one a harsh ride in life n at the same time a comfort dats priceless..Love..

Love..something i am searching for. no i'm not yearnin fer my past but da magic of it. i seem to haf lost my defination of Love and romance. I know by bloggin dis i may be hurting a pure soul out dare. I cant lie to myself forever..i cant keep it inside forever as well. Wat is love? Wat is romance? Wat haf i become? I'm too engross in my life's journey dat...If i've forgotten to love why do i yearn fer da magic of it? Now i get it. All dis while i tot i'm yearing fer my past but i'm actually yearnin fer da magic of love!
Honestly speaking, i think i'm afraid to love agin. To take one step again. To feel weak again. To be a slave to love n jelousy. I need to be strong to walk dis journey of mine but at the same time i dun wanna be lonely...
I've been asking myself wat is love...How do i fall in love..how it all work? Love seems to be an easy thing in da past but now..ITS SOOO DIFFICULT!

Work? in short its WORK..WORK..WORK... I'm undergoin a 1 mth course now..1 shift b4 dat i had my Emergency Vehicle course..Sigh...Plus i've just been assigned a new appoinment..Wif 2 appointments in hand plus da new heavy responsibility of the emergency vehicle..and da course i'm undergoin..Its making a drastic change to my life..Its gonna be a bumpy ride..And guess wat? I'm afraid.......hahaha..The great wanderin is afraid..hahaha..sigh...
i haf dis bad habit of not sharing my werk problems wif my family or gf. I dunnoe y..It can easily tick me off when one asks abt my werk life!! So u see, i cant rely on my colleagues, and i haf no one to talk to..so where do i go to? Hopefully dat explains why i'm not always around..trying to solve my problems..at times just bein alone to sooth myself or wif my frens to go crazy n forget abt my stress..At times i just wanna.........Well, dats life.. =)

This is wanderin spiritz a.k.a WS signin off..To all dose who regard me as their fren, May GOD be wif us all in our journey. And GOD BLESS US ALL! Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim.

15th January 2007

"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"

Why cant dey all UNDERSTAND? Why CAnt dey JUST LISTEN? Why cant dey cant TRUST?!!
Do u haf dis 6th sense? at time u just feel heavy hearted to go out? at times u feel dat smtg can be done even though it seems impossible?
i dun wnna go out dat far but...sigh..i've never been dat clumsy n hot tempered. when i was abt to go home from ps..MY SIDE MIRROR GOT STOLEN! Its not abt da cost or da thing abt it but da fact dat it was taken WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! It boils! recently my cash card too was stolen.
i should haf seen it coming. da signs...yesterday i skidded twice. Alomost #$%^#$^..Lets not bring back da past...
I'm just sooo FURIOUS!!! At werk..den dis..seems like my old temper is comin back...Life's been busy n just when i wanna breath n ...grrrrrrrrrr