"Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need,
the time you need to have the time of your life."
-Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Good evening!
I was very worried abt coming to work yesterday! but thank God everything went well. Da morning baris n CA drill was super ON! We like put on our extra best coz it AUDIT fer our stn! We were commended dat we still live to our standards! BEIN DA BEST! hahaha..
My colleague almost fainted, one of my men also almost blacked out. At nite, another one of my man caught fever! Eish!!! It was scorching hot yesterday! All da way till noon! Even after we were bare-bodied (during lunch in da comfort of our dorm) heat can be seen radiating from our bodies!
Fortunately fer me i managed to take some suppiments b4 da start of da drills. Else i think i too won't last dat long. i was rather perky n hyper active da whole day! Perhaps coz da old timers were too busy wif Audit n me n my colleague were like da seniors ard! hehehehe..
I was called upon fer sum interviews..Asking abt directives n all..hahaha..Alhamdullilah its like at da tip of my fingers!

The reason at times i dun feel like goin to work, coz of the mulut of certain ppl. I heard rumours dat sum maybe transfered out. and de other got WACKED UP SIDE DOWN LEFT RIGHT CENTRE by audit..Kuasa Tuhan..Masya-Allah..

At night, one of my collegue (apparently my driver fer da duty) was having a mussle cram/sore near his lungs (internal). I had dis a couple of time b4. It aint sumthing u wanna endure..hehehe..Everytime u take a breath, or move it HURTS LIKE HELL!!! he was pretty much sitting down n suddenly he'll screamin in agony! I felt obligated n sumwat pity fer him. Being him a big strong guy, suddenly dis small pain God gave..seein him in agony..Masya-Allah..So i took my medicated oil n told him to lie down..Yar! Urut!! Sumthing i haven been practicing! I cant take away da pain but i can help easy it away..Masya-Allah, HE moved my hands n till I know it, it has been an hour plus..Din realise i was perspiring..Thank God! dis time round i din even feel da crams or tiredness (my fingers dat is). But now a bit kembong..too much wind i suppose. i told he, he should go see a pakar tukang urut. his body is a mess, too much angin! Never b4 in his life he urut..Told him lots of stuff, glad he listened..

Den dis morning got a surprising msg! MY BOO WAS ON DA WAY TO FETCH ME FROM WERK!!! Ayoooo!!! *paisey* She was like standing rite de opposite of my stn! I think one of my boys mush haf disturb her (beri salam) hahahaha..Perhaps..We went fer breakfast at LJS..den went to bugis..I could barely open my eyes..She intro me to her colleagues..ayooo..*paisey* I think she must haf miss me very much..haha..haven been spending time wif her..at times even when we meet, my mind is not actually dare..Insya-Allah dis sun eve or mon afternnon we'll spend quality time..since ur on leave n me on half day..She's in JB now wif her colleagues since afternoon..Hmmm..Lom balik2 lagi..kinda worried..She's growing on me..Kinda missin her..Can really see her efforts to change fer da better.. i haf never seen sum1 try dat very best..Ayooo..by da way, it was a first she PIAT MY EARSS!!! ayooo! It was a slip of da tongue! Termaki..hehehhee..Quite a long one! hhehehehehe..

I'm still in delima, torn between A levels or diploma..Shall renungkan pekara ini..Moga2 Allah memberikan pertunjukan yg terbaik, Insya-Allah..

Salam Sejatera Semua, moga Allah bersama kiter semua Insya-Allah.

27th July 2005...night entry

"Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need,
the time you need to have the time of your life."
-Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

A very Good Evening,
Just got off watching "Pontianak Menjerit". A pretty STUPID show! but alrights lah, for the laughter! Watched wif my mom n sister. Been awhile since i do something wif them. Family bonding's da word! At times I may be physically present a home, but actually I'm else where..my own space.
After today, I may or may not have time to blog or reply messages. Yes, tomorrow I'll be starting work. I dun know what lies ahead of me. Which is why i suppose i was doing NOTHING da whole day. Actually i was! I was feeling/appriciating time. Letting it pass through me. Feeling every sec pass. Took my time to clean my tanks n mini pond. Took my time to walk to the aquarium shop. Took my time to sit down n do nothing. Y am i doin so? Something's telling me i may or may not haf da opportunity to feel it sumtime soon. hahaha..

Time...Something most ppl neglect. U only feel it when ur pace of life suddenly slows down or ur late fer sumthing or feeling impatient abt sumthin. "Kita mengejar masa, tetapi sebenarnya masa mengejar kita!". Tick tock, tick, tock.. Time knows no boundaries, time knows know one. Once it has past it'll never come back again! Even in the holy Quran, its sated how precious time is. We're no longer young. In the olden days, ppl at our age haf already started their families. Times haf change, here we are still persuing our dreams and fer sum abt to enter their working life. Sooner or later, when our children reach the age of 18, we'll be like 55! hahaha...

Masa! Dengan sekelip mata kau menghilang..

Dedik demi detik kau memergi..

Meniggal kan aku tanpa aku sedari..

Semakin hari semakin tua..

Semakin hari semakin lemah..

Masa! Sungguh kuat Iman kau..

Tidak ade belas kasihan, tidak peduli sesiapa..

Terus-terusan menunaikan perintah Allah..

Belom puas aku menikmati dunia ini..

Belom puas aku merantau dunia ini..

Belom cukup bekalan ku..

Belom sedia aku..menemui ajal maut..

Dengan nama Allah,

Tanpa masa, tanpa Hidup,

Tanpa Hidup, tanpa dosa,

Tanpa dosa, tanpa hari pembalasan...

27th July 2005

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get,
it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."
-Anon.

A beautiful morning it is! Bright sunny yet cooling. I couldn't sleep as well as i though. It is as if my soul is not at peace. Well, I hafta admit, I haven't been..u know, with HIM...
Yesterday, I dropped by station to settle some work stuff. I decided to fufill my evening prayers as well. Its been so long since i felt da serenity. It wasn't intense but..now i know wats been missing. Da musollah was sited in one of the unused room. So dare was no one ard, basically its only me n HIM. Its hard dese days to find such situation. Last i recall, when I was working at the airport. Always waited till after midnight when everyone's asleep. Den i'll creep into da musollah..
I miss da times i spent wif HIM alone.. I find it hard to do it at home. At werk if during my duty, dares bound to be ppl sleepin in da room. Where can i turn to when i wanna find peace?
I recall the time when i visited Central Java...I would say it was a mystical/spiritual trip. Circumstances leading me dare was way too wierd! hahahaha..I still find it unbelievable..
I miss my time dare. The pace of life was pretty much slow n steady. Dare's more den enough time to find peace n to make peace with urself. I recall one morning, while i was sleeping outside, "Abah" was reciting some verses..Out of da deep sleep (was actually sleeping very far from da house) my eyes opened up and almost teared. The serinity of his voice and the versus he recited.. Masya-Allah..
"Mujizat Rusul kiter dan Al Quran, dapat menghidupkan hati yg telah mati.."
Masya-Allah.. I'm like a lost soul, neither here nor there...
In search of myself..In search of HIM..In search of Eternal Peace..
May HE be with us all..

26th July 2005

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get,
it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."
-Anon.

A very cool morning to all!
You can say i'm off today. But still, guilt fill dis vulnerable heart of mine. It's been awhile since I've been to work. Heard that things are goin crazy there. Sigh..I can't run anymore, its back to work 2 days from now. Since I passed my tests, the full commencement will resume on the 8th of next month.
My hearth fill with worries..The thought of goin back to work, sigh..The ppl dare, is making me NOT wana come back to work. Only 1 or 2 that will put a smile when i see dem..
Its been only abt 6mths since my posting. I've lost the firery feeling to go to work. No longer enthusiated to be there. Thoughts of leaving is slowly creeping in..What has become of me? Totally demoralized. Still 4 yrs plus to go..Still so many things to learn.
I suppose its da ppl n management n da fact that i feel i haf NO FREEDOM..sigh..Its soo tight..
I feel as if i'm suffocating. i not sure if i'm cut out to be in this rank n file system..
As fer now, there are still a few ppl that puts a smile on my face at work.
I shall use dis oppurtunity to futher my studies. After that then i'll decide if i want to stay or not.

AS fer my love life..well, 1 step at a time. Yes, I'm still traumatized n wounded by my past. But I'm so fortunated that God gave me sum1 new. She's been patience wif me although at times i tend to be looking back at my past. Selfish at times i feel. At times I feel as if I'm betraying her. To be living in the present yet my soul is in the past. Sumtimes I wonder where my heart lies. Its neither here nor there. At times, I can't feel anyhting, I can't feel the Love at all. I guess this is wat my ex went through wif me. Inability to feel love for that sum1. But Thank God, on n off the feeling will come back. And when dat loving feeling comes back, I record it in my mind. Just in case if i loose it again. Yesterday was a blessing, I miss my boo..hahaha..Aint the first time, but a rare one! We had quite a long talk yesterday. I've been talking to her roughly..Perhaps its because i can't feel da love. up to a point when i confessed. I was acting the way because i needed to see for myself if she has any feelings for me. She rarely voice out her feelings. Of coz she shows but i can't differentiate whether its genuine or she's naturally like dat! She very playful, loves all her girlfrens and sumtimes act lesbionic! Perhaps being de only child has deprived her of siblingly love. hehehe.. Where was I , She kept mum when I told her why I was acting so, then she gave a disappointing remark! Bein da happy go lucky person, who knoes no sadness! I cant remember wat she said but its da tone n expression of her voice dat was a turn off. Her best fren did mention to me abt her being "care-free" but before she could continue, boo was already back at the table. I guess her best fren was trying to tell/advice me sumthing but i interuppted her then boo came. Sumhow i guess i dun wanna know wat she wanna say but then again..By the way after the disappointing remark, boo tried to make it up then she started to explain herself, she quoted things that happened while we're together. Trying so hard to explain this n dat...Well i know ur like sooo a "virgin" in terms of relationship..Like dating a sec 1 girl! hehehe..There are pros n cons. Truth is, its was a TORTURE while trying to concentrate n fighting SLEEP! *lol* Soooooo soorryyy BOO!! haha..Masya-Allah, da sleepiness was soo overwhelming! but al least i managed to recall sum points. By da way, ade ke she labeled my laughter as "MIYANG".. ayooo..my artifical n original laughter/giggle she cant even differentiate! And one more thing, she said when I was wif her best fren, we were SOOO MIYANG!! wats wif dat? hehehe..jelous eh? i was just laughin along! Gosh! hahaha..

My body is aching all over...Miss working out! Hahaha..Wasn't a satisfying workout yesterday but its better then nothing. I Thank God, for giving me my undisturbed rest days! Since the beginin of this mth, hardly tasted my rest days. Its almost month end, n i finally had time to self-reflect. To haf time to myself. To think things through. To spend my time wif my mom n family...

I end today's morning entry with a quote:
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
-Helen Keller

fURthEriN mY sTuDiEs...

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future,
or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
-Buddha

Yesterday or rather dis early morning, chat wif Sis shazzle..Figured she was da best person to consult in terms of education.
She knock sum sense into me! hehehe.. reality knocks! Its kinda true wat she said, getting backinto da system after sooo long, sonfirm its gonna be HARD fer me!
Thing is, there are 2 places that i'd say provides a credible cert. SIM n STANSFIELD COLLEGE.
da course dat i want, is offered by both, both certified by UOL..

I was thinkin of taking private A level..I just need 2 A level passes!!! To get a degree!
Pros: Its a shorter route!
Cons: If i fail, dats it..wasted my time n effort..Plus i like sooo out of tune!!! Plus dares no scool!

Takin part time diploma,
Pros: Follow da system Insya-Allah can grad!
Cons: time consuming n costs..

Then theres issue abt which institution..

SIM
Pros: Reputable..
Cons: slightly costly, NO PART TIME DIPLOMA (relavant)

STANSFIELD COLLEGE
Pros: Haf part time diploma.
Cons: its part time diploma is in econimics! sumthing far DIFF...

The thing is, i dont know if i would rather get my A'level n persue my degree of da preferred course..Or should i get my Diploma (only one choice, stansfield...dip in economics..)..

I need 2 A..C maths de other? ayooo..Very weak in language!

Thats pretty much da probs or delima..Very messy huh..

25th July 2005...night entry

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future,
or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
-Buddha

Good evening peepz!
You can say i just got back..Went to Yishun stadium's gym wif ma bro IM!! Was our first time dare. I always use da one at werk..Its pretty spacious. Ait soo stuffy except dat dare were too many ppl..peak hour i guess..
I was pretty shy at first..hehe..started off with cycling..Was aiming da bench press..After like cycling fer quite sum time (followed da prog), i decided wat da heck! malu rugi! went to dis pakcik whos doin bench press n ask if i could join! hahaha..TAK LEH ANGKAT SiAAKK..DAT OLD TIMER WAS LIKE..i couldn't even SOAP MYSELF JUST NOW! ANSWERIN DA PHONE I NEEDED EXTRA EFFORT N CONTROLLED BREATHING!!! MAK AI!!! *lol* really worth it! Cant feel my arms right now..hehehe..where is it anyway..oh here it is typing..hehehe..
We walked to n fro da stadium..in da drizzle..We chat quite a lot..Guess i was pretty chirpy today..although sleepy..We sat in btw da interchange n northpoint to munch n chat..Laugh n destressed ourselves..
I'm actually quite worried. got so many time off, nanti jadi bahan cakap n ...sigh..sum of dem r like sooo MATA MERAH!!! sigh...dis da only set back n its making me wanna..EISH!!! wat am i thinking!!!!!!!haaiizzz "KUN FAYA KUN" segala kejadian tak akan berlaku tanpa izin DIA...

25th July 2005

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future,
or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
-Buddha

I PASSSEED mY TEST!!! Alhamdullilah!!!
Yesterday after visiting my Encik, meet up wif boo at Darul Ghufran..Had magrib dare den went to dinner..To afgan! Called Mas met up wif her..Had a crazy time..SHe pretty much has a broadband frequency..Can link pretty easily..Boo a bit on indon frequency..hehe..not far but still can link! ehehe..too carefree..haaiizzz..hehehe.. JANGAN MARAH!!

Yesss arrr!!! Got a date to GYM!!! LAMER GILER TAK PI SEJAK ON COURSE!!!
Orites per! Boo go to SPA wif MUMMY...got special service or not? hehehe..Go wif ma bro IM!! ur de man! hahaha..kiter pi cuci mata!!! hahaha..Shake dat bottom bebeh!

Oh yeah...Y am i dis crazy? coz tak yah report to werk! i tink da caffeene too high oso..hehehe..Alamak da nak hujan! saper nie tak mandi? hehehe..

Just chat wif Mas..crzy peepz..haha..
Stay tune to some deep thoughts...later..dunnoe when..hehehe..

24th July 2005

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future,
or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
-Buddha

A very Good afternoon!
Finally finished my report! Decided not to grumble but focus my energy to finishin it! *lol*
I'm actually excited! i made up my mind to further my studies! I just only made up my mind boo! Jgn marah! tell u abt it later..
Found a shorter way to get a degree..At SIM..but hafta put in extra effort! Hafta make lots enquiries..Thats later...
Fer now, hafta get ready to visit my ENCIK. His wife gave birth so my colleagues visitting him. Plus I need to summit my report! hehehe..Tomorrow my test..den hafta go to werk. hmmm..
Aights! Addios Amigos!

Quote of da day!

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future,
or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
-Buddha

Found this interesting quote... It describes majority of us...Cuba renungkan..

"The trouble with so many of us is that we underestimate the power of simplicity. We have a tendency it seems to over complicate our lives and forget what's important and what's not. We tend to mistake movement for achievement. We tend to focus on activities instead of results. And as the pace of life continues to race along in the outside world, we forget that we have the power to control our lives regardless of what's going on outside."
-Robert Stuberg

23rd July 2005...night entry

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future,
or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
-Buddha

Greetings to all!

Went to calibrate my body dis morning! Ouch!!! Worth da pain! haha..Was told dat its either i haf been thinking too much or haven had sufficient sleep! I cant deny dat..When I got home, I like dose off! wif my fluffy comforter n da rainy day..GONE!! I was really GONE!!! *lol* Still sleepy though..He really calibrated my wirings! I still have a report to settle ASAP..sigh..Not in da mood actually.

My sister went to NDP preview wif my long lost cousin. Why long lost? Well, his father(my dad's bro) passed away peacefully in his sleep years back.. After which his mom got married..hmmm...Long story.. I miss my arwah uncle. I may be little when he was alive, but memories of him still lingers. =)

23rd July 2005

"I hold it true,what'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam

A very Good mornin to all!

Finally had sum time to read my love ones' blogs..except fer my bro, cant seem to access da new blog..hmmm..

Went through beetle's entry, right now i cant put into words wat i feel. She was a pedriatic (is dat how u spell it?) nurse during attachment, n she kinda grew attached to all her patients..Some haf passed away, some in btw da realms..I dunnno how put into words how i feel. But my heart tears apart to see dem suffer..but i know dey are FAR LOVED BY GOD which is why dey are taken early. A vacancy in HIS Eternal Kingdon has been engraved for dem..

I'll bet if u look hard enough, dey are actually surrounded by angels...I....i've spoken too much..

Finally I've had my deep sleep..i dremt of dose whom I care abt n da one whom i cared n left..It was wierd..Da first one was a vist from sum1 i cared abt since pri sch..It was an honour to be visited..but was it looking fer? hmmmm...

Gee's entry was rather refreshing. haha..out of da blues..sumthing diff. i mean i dun blog abt it..maybe i should sumthimes..I mean blog abt opinions n facts. Yes Gee, ur becoming a woman..welcome to adulthood! hahaha.. i read sumwhere dat during dis transformation u tend to get mixed emotions (kinda like PMS; no offence) n unpredictable changes...

I wanna thank you fer da chat we had de other day..been awhlie since i am able to share my deep thoughts n feelings. Its not everyday dat one can get such person..Which is y i mostly mix wif MATURE adults! hahaha..wak2..haha..nolah...

Let me see, wat else..i haf a fire report to settle..hmmm...Mon my other test...Mon maybe hafta start werk...

Oh yah, i was thnking, since i'm dare on course, i might as well take up another course in da nite just to kill 2 birds wif 1 stone! amamca? idea kan! hahahaha...Insya-Allah..Insya-Allah..tempted u know..hahaha..

Ok..ok..I'm runnning late fer my MASSAGE! No it aint dose SPECIAL SERVICE!!! Dis one u pay to get hurt..gosh da lamer tak pegi..takut siaakkk...Confirm terpekik!!!!

21st July 2005

"I hold it true,what'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam

Greetingz!

Just got back home from my course. Yesterday I had my first test n all went well. Syukur alhamdullilah. Monday is da next test so from now till monday is STUDY TIME!!!

Just one prob, Mon my rota is on duty. i think I'm on half day dat day. Wonder if I hafta go back to work? sigh....

Remember I blogged earlier, dat my EX emailed me..sigh..Its amazing how da past can catch up wif ya in a split second! Further to add, I was stressed up wif werk, course, lack of sleep, fatique. All those add up, u get a twilight zone! hahaha..yeah was pretty much lost for awhile..really LOST!

I ramble a bit too much..up to a point i realise i was hurting sum1 dat really cares fer me. hahaha...*ehem* was very patience wif me..I realise i was being selfish. I'm sorry boo..

Pretty much messed up..Fer sum1 who rarely express her feelings, hahaha, wif me, ehem..cant hide! *lol*

By da way my dad keeps saying *ehem* looks familar..(saw da pic)..Wats wif dat?? Ayoooo...

i kinda miss my circle of frens..Gee, Mar, Rin, Im, dillah, yani dan lain2 lagi...even my Cyber sisters...sigh...

I'm sooooo occupied dat i dun even haf enough time fer myself..Dese days i feel like SCREAMING!!!

And to Mar ... Sorry sis abt da miscomunication de other day. guess both of us must haf been too exhausted..Sorry everyone! bile mau keluar ramai2 lagi? cam tak jadi jek! Choc Factory aper jadi??? Kate ranai2 nak keluar!!! Leh aku ajak *ehem* jumpe korangz! Da tambah lagi satu makcik ketot! hahaha... Minah2 penguin! hahaha...

18th July 2005

"I hold it true,what'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam

Alas! Another day gone.

how was my coz? Pretty much ok..was late..Took cab dat costs $17!!! da driver took me to da wrong location! haha..kept cool..

After da lesson went to Goldenmile Shopping Ctre. Changed one of my rings. got a call from my is, asking me abt mp3 player. so i met her at Sim Lim and bought one. Was already one da way dare coz wanted to query abt da multi charger i bought fer my NP30 battery..apparently he demonstrated wrongly yesterday..its functioning well except fer da memory card now..sighh..

UNABLE TO READ!!! but could read from my PC...sigh...

Yesterday went to Sim Lim wif *ehem.. went dare quite late. bougth mp3..(wats wif mp3???) and multi charger wanted to buy mp3 fer myself but..oh well..

Received an email from her..YESSS HER..AS IN MY EX!!! Its wierd how da past catches up wif ya in a blink of an eye..Dat explains y i was feeling a bit diff dese few days..sigh...

To my bro Im..

no worries abt me..nuthing abt u de man..was pretty much upset wif one of our sis..hahaha..petty much kewl now.. lost n stress wif werk n course..(ur suppose to NOT be werking when ur on course! hahaha..)

To my darlin *ehem..

Patience my dear, Time heals all wounds...guess dats wat i need..

hahaha..

Like a flower waiting to bloom, guess dats wat i best be doin..

Sittin, observing, waitin fer my boo to bloom...

No pressure no expectations..no worries boo...

life fer me is taking a pretty much unexpected twist..and interesting visions abt my future is begining to unveil..Could it all be true? Is dis it? Is dis finally da one?

As per all journey, its never a smooth one. It takes 2 to clap...

It takes Team work to build, restore and maintain a Palace..

17th JULY 2005

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

Wow!

Pretty much an exhaustive day... One of my fireman lost some important stuff. Followed him to poilice Stn afterwhich played counter strike wif him! hahahaha...Never LAN gamed b4..kinda cool except i kept dying! hahaha..

A series of event occured last nite while i was on duty..Sum personnal stuff. Forgot how easily i loose trust once sumone lies or sumthing like dat..haha..Oh well..

I had 2 suicide cases..attempt to jump..I think she's da same person. i hope she's alright..Sum foreigner havin a break dwn..

Tomorrow I'm ON COURSE!!! sigh...All my off days are like GONE!!! if not one den both BURNT! Tomorrow is da beining of my 2 mths course..wonder how i fair..

wAts GoIn On???

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

I cant deny it anymore...
Everyone has been acting REALLY REALLY REALLY WIERD!!! My circle of frenz dat is!!!!!
Except BRO IM! thanx bro..you were really positive de other day..thnx fer da advice n wishes..I totaly din expect it from ya..no offence..

Fer da rest..i dun know if ya stress wif scool or werk of stuff..but..as a fren..Tell me upfront will yar..I HATE picking up VIBES from my OWN CIRCLE!!! Sighhh...

Wats in ur mind Bro N sisters?

rEalItY yEt tO sEtTtLe...

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

Wats Up!
I know its been awhile..Things are like happen sooo fast i barely haven time to catch my breath. My coz starting soon on da 18th! Dis MONDAY!!

Anyways, let me see..wats been happening to me lately?
I went to my new division to change some stuff. Not bad..The place I mean. After which I wanted to go to Geylang (with all da stuff in my bag and carrying a big shoe box). So i took a bus (from da wrong bus stop). But it still pass by dare. i was soooo sleepy dat when i blink..blink..i realise I WAS BACK AT EU TONG SENG STREET!!! CHINA TOWN!!! GRRRRR...
I walked around in circle all da way to SOUTH BRIDGE ROAD looking fer da right BUS STOP!!!
Finally i gave up n walked BACK TO WHERE I STARTED looking fer an ATM..Took a CAB to Joo Chat..
Alrites arr..wat i was loking was not dare. Bought a BOOK fer my *ehem*..n 3 CDs LAGU RAWK JIWANGS!!! REALLY VINTAGE!!

Da night when i was on duty, i had a chat wif one of my colleague..VERY DEEP TALK..All through da nite! i realise where I went wrong in life.. Realise if i dun keep things to myself, ppl may get hurt. As much as I hate all dis, I hafta embrace it as it is a blessing from above.. for each one of us has a purpose in LIFE..So many stuff..but..One at a time.. Insya-Allah..

Right now i'm like having a GROGGY HEADACHE..wait, dat doesn't sound rite..
Anyways, DID U KNOW MARINA SQUARE HAS A NEW LOOK??? Went dare just now n had SWENSONS! khakhehkeh

OkOk..I know dares like so many ppl asking me soo many questions..
Dat day when ehem..i took a step to move on, I gave her a ring (ehem..gold bebeh..)..alamak i forgot da building's name, da GOTHIC LOOKing building opp Raffles Hospt.
"I told her dat my past may catch up wif me one day..Will u still be dare to be wif me?"
"Will you be wif me throught thick n thin?"
"I dun like wats happening to us now..dun wanna be labeled FLING.."
So i got one knee down..n..ehem..ehem..ehemm..*blush*

She's very close wif her mom (being de only child i suppose) pretty much her mom knows wats goin on..After da deep chat I had wif my fren..I gave some thought.. da day b4 yesterday, i sent her HOME..ALL DA WAY TO DA DOOR STEP!!!
Her parents were not home, but her Buyot(Great Granny) was dare...She's soo sweet n still strong! Buyot insisted i enter...nak taknak after like 1min..I surrendered..
Less den 5min her parents came home..JENG JENG JENG!!! *lol*
A very pleasent family!..her dad kinda relax kewl type..Her mom a very sweet lady (find her familiar though)..Pretty much a very warm welcome from dem..
i know..kinda wierd rite? since her parents were like shocked abt da ring..i tot i just intro myself (or rather, show myself!)..be GENTLEMAN...hahaha..

I was kinda shocked to her parents n buyot's reaction when i gave her da ring few days back..
The response were so heart warmin! She even got ADVICE from her MOM..hahaha..

everything is happening sooo fast..i still am scared! Worryin..sigh..
I guess REALITY still have not settle on me YET!
But da beautiful thing is dat things are happening as if all dis were PRE-PLANNED!!! I know..I know..keep to myslef...sSShhHsssHhh..

I just showed my mom her PIC..hahaha..Told a bit abt her..
hahaha..she like said, "kawan baru?..macam2...suruh simpan duit tak nak.." hahahaha..
kelakar lah..Wat does dat mean? hahaha..

Nitez peepz..gotta catch some rest..Haven been sleeping properly...slept only 5hrs since i got back werk (2days AGO!) Take care BRO n SISs!!!

A nEw bEgIniNg...

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

Akum!
Waaahh..Today is a NEW BEGINING FER ME!!! Actually yesterday NIGHT!!! As in 12072005 at abt 2100+++
Lets just say its time to MOVE ON! No point bein SAD while de OTHER persoN is HAPPY!!!
Its time to close de old book n START a NEW ONE..
May ALLAH bless dis one..

I'm soooo exhausted n I haf a test later on n I HAVEN STUDY!!!
Hopefully I can sleep soundly..Coz yesterday nite..got an uninvited Gust at 2AM in da FREAKING mORNING!!!

I wAS sOOOO pIssEd off dAt I....EheM..(*sEnsOred fEr dA fAinT hEaRt n dA dIsbeLieVers*)

NiteZ peePz!!

A cOoL mOrNiN

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

A very Good Mornin to ALL!
Finnally I had my long deserved rest..but sad to say, I hafta go fer a meeting at 1500 at ubi..Tomorow is my test $$$ but haven study!!! Sigh..
To my CIRCLE oF FRENZ, really soory haven been ard, been really crazy dis month..even my next off day BURN!!! sigh..Insya-Allah by end of dis week everything settle..
To Mar,
appriciate it u sms de other day..I'm fine cume busy wif werk n spending wat lil time I haf to spend wif dat sum1.
To Im,
Chill bro da lame tak bual dgn ko..ORD O!!!
To Rin,
HAPPY BELATED BDAY AGAIN!!!
To gee,
Chill SiS! Jgn Stress2 selalu! Nanti Rambut Gugur! :)
To Yani,
Keje! Jgn nak msn jek pat keje! &*lol*
To Dillah,
Maner ko menhilang! Asik buat kopi, members pun lupe! ;)

BILER NAK BUAT OUTINGZ LAGI??????

Anyways..
I tot i wanna share wat i READ ACCIDENTALLY ON CLEO (I dun read such megazines!)
A couple wif abt 6 yrs of relationship, had to part. Her BF died in an accident, dey almost got engaged. I now wonder how she's doing...
Makes me wonder wat situation I was in, how one of my circle of fren must haf felt when her love one had to leave..
Dis few mths dares been lots of sorrow in our lives.. A dear fren too just passed away..i actually still in shock n apparently haven't absorb it fully..Be in my past relationship, da death of a fren, n many more..I just gld i'm surrounded by frenz..Be it Old or new..n dat special Sum1..I just need time fer reality to HIT me.. :) Till den.. ADDIOS!!

wAt a DaY!!!

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

Hey ya bloggie!

Guess wat! I went KARAOKE!!! My very first time! Wif my sore throat n flu..SUMBANG GILERRR....MALUUUUUNNYYEEE AKUUU!!!!

Gosh dat was freaky crazy! Realized all da malay songs I DUN KNOW!!! Tu lah asik dgr masuk telinga kanan keluar teliga kiri!!! khakhakha

I had a wonderful time wif ehem HER n HER frenz..khekhekhe...Although it was embarassing..

Things are getting clearer..n erm...i think...i'm ............. GOSH!!! I cant believe it myself..

Had dinner, went to HMV, walk ard town in da crowd, BESTNYEEE DA LAME TAK JLN2 ON A SAT!!!

Not forgetting a vist to Al Falah..

Pretty much a fun but tiring day..

FiNalLy I'm hOmE

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

Akum bloggie n all kepos reading dis!!! *grins*

Finally i'm home!! Been 3 days plus away from my crib! my tiny version of heaven! Wat happened? Where was I? Did I run away?

Oh well, went through quite an experience thare.. I was on IOC level 5 standby (highest

security)..

Wah...kena F n i mean F like crazy fer a stupid mistake dat was partly NOT MY FAULT!! But as much as i wanna argue, i just kept cool n kept my mouth shut. Got back to station go QUESTIONED by my superior! Ayooooo... Sigh..But alhamdullilah, it seems ok..hopefully..Insya-Allah.

Remember I mentioned abt all da reports dat i haf to settle..hahaha..I FINISHED IT UNDER TREMENDOUS EXHAUSTION N SLEEPYNESS! I think da quality of my wok also improved significantly!

Power huh? khekhehe..but now i'm like falling sick..hahaha..

Did i mentioned i was on standby NOT AT DA COMFORT OF MY STATION!!! I was at dis OLD abandon SAF NCO CAMP!!! opp Raffles Hotel! kinda cool creepy Resident Evil like place!! not to mention DARN dusty!! khakhakha

But fortunately at midnight we're allowed to return back to stn. Toilet pun rabakz!! Eeeeuuww

Fortunately one of my fren, from another stn brough RISK!!! N now i'm addicted to it!!! NAK BELIIIII!!!

I waited like 4 hrs to paly da game, den when it was my turn, it took 1/2 an hour to LOOSEE!!! So I waited another 4hrs to play, when da time came, all were too tired and decided to play CLUEDO!! hahahaha..It was Fun gilerr!!! Kecoh!!!

i hafta admit i almost broke down when da weRk was getting too much..I think bein in station n not able to go out was da pri factor. Luckly ehem, SHE was werkin..SO dat point of time when I was feeling da pressure, I HAD LUNCH WIF HER!!! Yeah, I've been dating dis PERSON...I dun KNOw where to begin..Its too wierd n too coincidental..But sumhow she's brought happiness..sumhow my heart is beginin to heal.. Way.. too wierd!!!

Today meeting her..Ask me to tripple date wif all her frens go karaoke!!! MANE LAH AKU PERNAH KARAOKE!!! Giler lah! MAMPOS! haaiizz..

Dis morning alone, 3 of my frenz from my circle..ask me abt her at da same time! TOO COINCIDENTAL!!! All of deM online of course!

Ader yg nak tgk gambar..hahahaha..

Sabar yar..aku nie masih keadaan terkejut..Nanti aku mintak permisson dier..kalau boleh aku post online! hahahaha

Wats so coincidental abt her? well, her ex, has almost da same name as mine..n her name is almost da same as my ex..both just lost n still RECOVERING...hahaha..

Plus da way we met was too wierd..I leave dat to God..Aint gonna blog abt it..

Dats soo much abt her for now..

I din expect fer all dis to happen..n if dis is causing sum1 to be hurt den..MY HUMBLE APOLOGIZESS..

Oh well, My small cat "Kecik" IS PREGNANT!!!! Kecik2 da PANDAI MAIN!!! GRRRRRRRR

Dats so much fer now..I think i wanna go run den werk out.. DA lame gak tak exercise..den again i think i'm LATE!!! hahahaha..

SLAMATZ BLOG N PEEPZ..

MAy God be wif us all especially my CIRCLE OF FRENZ!!!

a cOnFesSiOn..

~~iTs nOt wAts uNdErnEiTh dAt mAkEs u wHo U aRe~~
~~Its wAt u dO dAt dEfInEs U~~

Good morning!

I've been seeing dis person fer abt a week. Just friends. Kinda fun crazy type. Little i know, she's begining to grow on me..
I know, I know, my heart has not heal yet..But it aint suppose to be astired by emotions..I think wat i'm feeling is CRUSH!!!
Sounds crazy right. I know, I'm like confused n shocked too. Like all of a sudden I miss dis new fren of mine! Gosh!
I'm not intending to rush things nor hurt or dissappoint dose ard me..I may act dumb but I know wats goin on ard me..
Shocking n confusing to me..All this is too wierd..

How is one suppose to LOVE if one DOESN'T BELIEVE IN LOVE NO MORE!

sUndAy mOrNiN

Good Morning bLoggiieee!!!
I dun know wat got into me yesterday! Thank God sum1 one pulled me back to earth!
Sorry again peepz! I think I'm back to normal! Except I HAVEN'T FINISH MY WERK!!!
It clobbering TIME! FLAME ON! Time to Werk...

dEciDed tO gO fEr kEndUrI ArWaH...

Ard magrib, I received a call from my cuzz. He informed me dat dare was a kenduri fer my late fren. Gosh nak tak nak I went. I told myself I'm going fer him, it doesn't matter wat others think. My so called 'enemy', was dare. He teguh me when he saw me. I know in Islam we're not suppose to haf enemies amongst our brothers n sisters. I was sort of neutral when i was dare. Spoke only when spoken to...
Most of the time I was observing those ard me. All my 'frens' all engaged each on separate path yet all still da same.
I was like the odd one out. Far diff from da rest, once I was part of their circle now a total stranger. Obviously I'm expecting gossips from them, but who cares. To each their own.

I'm kinda excited to persue what I'm longed waited for, but I hafta get my parents restu no matter what it takes. My father had already given me a demoralising ans...
I have not started my work and I'm already exhausted. The headache has begun to pound. I guess I best get coffee n panadol ASAP! Time to WORK!!!

tOoK LeAvE...

Yo wats up!
Thumbz up I hope! Woke up dis morning feeling darn latargic! Hati ringan lak nak amik leave, so I tried my luck! hahaha.. Here I am..Took my second leave!

I had to clear my work stuff before next duty.. Else I'd be tight up against time! Intend to burn midnight oil, Insya-Allah!

Went to Friday's prayer, Syukur Alhamdullilah.. After the prayer, they had dis short syarahan, I can't remember the Ustaz's name but he got jawa slang. Alhamdullilah..Alhamdullilah..Daripada ngantuk jadi segar dgr syarahan demikian. It was abt Prophet Adam and his request against Iblis..
Wow! wat an insight..At one point I was laughing and da next i teared in silence.. Dats the EMPTINESS I've been wanting to FILL UP!!! Perjalanan terbuka sedikit..Insya-Allah akan lagi jelas..

Things a slightly becoming clearer as to what i wanna persue..I dun wanna rush into things, so i shall wait n do what i can first.

As fer werk, dis month its gonna be a busy one!

05/07 Standby (1st day off)
06/07 Standby (2nd day off)
12/07 Sports Award (2nd day off)
13/07 Certification Test (On duty)
15/07 Workshop (2nd Day off)
18/07 On Course (abt 2mths)

Thats y I hafta finish my 2 reports n presentation else it'll clash! I haven't even study fer my certification!!!! ayooooo...
I dun even know what to put up in the presentation! Gosh!
Hopefully dares no more changes!

U peepz take care!