24th August 2005

"When the heart has acquired stillness, it will look upon the heights and depths of knowledge, and the intellect, once quieted, will be given to hear wonderful things from God."
-Hesychios the Martyr

So..
I FAILED MY IPPT!!! Everything was ok, was either Gold or Silver..Halfway through my 2.4 run, it rained sooo darn heavily!!!
I was frezzing shit! Den suddenly i started to slow down. My mind became weak n sumhow i gave up.. Sigh..Its a shitty feeling knowing dat u can make it but u gave up. I fail my 2.4 run. But at least i completed it. Sigh..

I was neither angry nor cranky at all. I have been loosing my temper lately. I remember scolding boo abt smtg. I know she misses me, but u can't expect to be hogging on da phone all nite! She teared. *sigh* Oh well, at least i know she has a heart! *grins*

I hafta comment, dat night b4 my Ippt, i wasn't really myself. Worried abt sooo many things. Abt werk n all. She said da sweetest thing no one has ever said, "Dun worry too much k, i got it all under control" or sumthing like dat. Implying dat she has werked out some solution abt my worries. And dat she just wants me to focus on finishin my course.. Dat made me smile n felt a sense of security n comfort. I slept like ababy through da night n woke up a new person! ;)

I sort of made peace wif my instructor. Although i tried to pretend things were normal but i sumhow feel as if i haf a grudge against him..Hahahaha..Oh well, we did shook hands. I guess dats wat happens if ur too serious wif ur werk n not take care of wat u say. Wat do u expect! He's an ex policeman! Brutality is in his blood! hahahaha..