27th July 2005

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get,
it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."
-Anon.

A beautiful morning it is! Bright sunny yet cooling. I couldn't sleep as well as i though. It is as if my soul is not at peace. Well, I hafta admit, I haven't been..u know, with HIM...
Yesterday, I dropped by station to settle some work stuff. I decided to fufill my evening prayers as well. Its been so long since i felt da serenity. It wasn't intense but..now i know wats been missing. Da musollah was sited in one of the unused room. So dare was no one ard, basically its only me n HIM. Its hard dese days to find such situation. Last i recall, when I was working at the airport. Always waited till after midnight when everyone's asleep. Den i'll creep into da musollah..
I miss da times i spent wif HIM alone.. I find it hard to do it at home. At werk if during my duty, dares bound to be ppl sleepin in da room. Where can i turn to when i wanna find peace?
I recall the time when i visited Central Java...I would say it was a mystical/spiritual trip. Circumstances leading me dare was way too wierd! hahahaha..I still find it unbelievable..
I miss my time dare. The pace of life was pretty much slow n steady. Dare's more den enough time to find peace n to make peace with urself. I recall one morning, while i was sleeping outside, "Abah" was reciting some verses..Out of da deep sleep (was actually sleeping very far from da house) my eyes opened up and almost teared. The serinity of his voice and the versus he recited.. Masya-Allah..
"Mujizat Rusul kiter dan Al Quran, dapat menghidupkan hati yg telah mati.."
Masya-Allah.. I'm like a lost soul, neither here nor there...
In search of myself..In search of HIM..In search of Eternal Peace..
May HE be with us all..