a hApPy dAy???

A very good afternoon!
Just came back from work! Ahhh..Finally came back from work early! Went for a run up and down Fort Canning then had breakfast and here I am.
I just finished my highrise exercise, I was one of the control points. Not under much spotlight, but still in the Hot Zone! Syukur Alhamdullilah, although I made lots of mistakes, it was not brought up. I dun handle stess as well as i used to. Of course I was darn worried! *LOL*
Yesterday I was almost late for work! Woke up 0600 instead of the usual 0530. Luckly my mom woke me up. God bless her. She always pack for me lunch in the early morning despite the fact she's working. Unless she's really exhausted. And its not the previous day's food! Freshly cooked! Sometimes I feel that she packs as if I'm not coming back... The guys at work really love her cooking.
Where was i, oh, work..I finished one of my CP yesterday. A heavy load off my chest. I looked at the work done for my Rota for the whole month, Masya-Allah...Extra halal ah! This month extremely special, coz both holidays fall on my Rota therefore other Rota's highrise(including all the paper work) are diverted to my Rota. *LOL* wahhhh...So, I'm left with one last CP and 2 fire reports! Kewl huh! :)
After compliting it, (quite fast I would say) I decided to treat myself. I watch Armaggedon (the last portion on 5) It brought back memories. If I'm not wrong, I watched it in melbourne with my new aquaintance during an exchange program. Sob..Sob..Still a touching movie. (Sensitive New Age Guy aka SNAG) *LOL*
Yesterday night, or rather in the early mornings of about 0100, I had a man to man talked with my Encik. I was expressing what I felt. Somewhere along the line he mentioned dis....not to listen to others if ur choosing ur future partner, to see for urself her qualites and never ever look back at her past. Especially when you heard from someone. Coz in the end ur gonna be together with her, not them. "...biar pun dia seorang pelacur, kalau kau da angkat dier, kau da bersihkan kan die, terus kau kutuk dier, lebih baik jangan angkat dier in the first place!..." those words came like a hammer on a gong! When you do that to someone, itu da seolah-olah menzalimi batin seseorang. You give her hope then destroy it. He told me not to look back to the past. Never ever. That hit the right spot. All this while, I've been looking back at the past while with that special someone, NBH. We all make mistakes, but somehow i could never accept wat she did. If I could see myself in the mirror, I think I'll be walking with my head 180 deg backwards! *LOL* . Perhaps that was my failure n why she just gave up the beautiful 6 yrs of our lives. No matter how much I hate her right now, where ever u are now, I hope ur happier without me. And may the past never repeat.
I finished work feeling so good, so happy (after soooo long), but after reaching home, suddenly, ahhh...i forgot, she's gone. No one to come "home to". Its too peaceful. :) Right now listen to "one last" by taufik sent by Gee..Gosh.. I MISS HER! Finally i admit! I 've been burying myself with piles and piles of work and anger. Gosh...I MISS HER :) sob..sob..
Where ever you are, I hope ur taking good care of urself!