"Men must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, dignified and having moral courage in honest defeat, humble and gentle in victory"
Hi..
Wow! Its been sooo long. I dun even know where to begin. Life's riding faster then an aeroplane. One minute ur problem solving the next ur trying untie a misundertanding. Be it at werk or in ur social life. But i thank God, that in the mist of my unpredictable vast challenges, HE still rewards me wif fun and friends. True ones I suppose. One tat understands when ur busy one dat lends a listenin ear when ur in need. One dat creates a fun atmosphere just to make u forget ur problems ur conflicts ur pain...
Believe it or not, I've been to more then 3 camping by the sea in such a short time span. Family and friends. Each has a memory of its own. I suppose the most memorable one was at changi beach. Out of the blue we called eached other and decided to pitch up. And dat was late evening! LoL..Sumhow it happen. Although dare were some misunderstandings. I suppose its part and parcel of life. All these misunderstandings. Its a matter of how u wanna look at it. To ignore it and pretend nothing happen? To confront it diplomatically? Its a difficult thing to do i agree but not an impossible task. One haf to swollow one's ego to make the first move. Either dat, or put up thick skin..
I'm sure u would agree wif me, Friction occurs everywhere anywhere and anytime. Its a matter of how we lubricate it.
I just came back from bbq cum camping as a gatherin for ex xishanites. It started of wif a huge load of friction. I dun even know how to begin..I dun even know wat i did wrong. Just da words still lingers in my mind. A "fren" said such harsh words. In the first place i wasn't even talking to her knowing sumhow she was in a bad mood. Of all ppl, i still cant believe it came from her. I din realise my frens changed so fast...even Heard opinions from others ..Well its her life. Sometimes ppl are put through harsh rides dat makes one change, to become cold n bitter, coz dey need to haf a strong heart. Not to weep n give up in harsh times. But of course such changes will haf negative impact. I still feel so sad. AS if i've lost a fren and a long wif it a brother...Wierd..I felt a few negative vibes from several peeps while at the pit. Even from ppl whom i bear a grudge because of my past. How i ended up dare? hahaha..I had no intention of coming to da bbq but..well, i miss my frens..den i accidently saywzamzam! At da traffic light near Still rd. So i tot why not...The first face dat greeted me wif happiness was Gee! She was wif her fiance or is it bf? hehehe..One of the sisters i miss..
The whole gaterin din start off wif a good foot. Plus i made some bad impressions..So i think dis will be da last of its kind for me. I'll do wat i do best, stay busy and disappear..to stay in da outer circle. dat way i'll cause lesser damage! ;) Wats worst, it was boo's first overnight n well, it din turn out quite well..Disappointing..
One thing fer sure, ms bettle n mr tweedle seems to be madly in love! I'm happy fer them. knowing the depths of mr tweedle, i'm sure ms bettle will find comfort n strengths in him. God is all knowing n fair. He gives one a harsh ride in life n at the same time a comfort dats priceless..Love..
Love..something i am searching for. no i'm not yearnin fer my past but da magic of it. i seem to haf lost my defination of Love and romance. I know by bloggin dis i may be hurting a pure soul out dare. I cant lie to myself forever..i cant keep it inside forever as well. Wat is love? Wat is romance? Wat haf i become? I'm too engross in my life's journey dat...If i've forgotten to love why do i yearn fer da magic of it? Now i get it. All dis while i tot i'm yearing fer my past but i'm actually yearnin fer da magic of love!
Honestly speaking, i think i'm afraid to love agin. To take one step again. To feel weak again. To be a slave to love n jelousy. I need to be strong to walk dis journey of mine but at the same time i dun wanna be lonely...
I've been asking myself wat is love...How do i fall in love..how it all work? Love seems to be an easy thing in da past but now..ITS SOOO DIFFICULT!
Work? in short its WORK..WORK..WORK... I'm undergoin a 1 mth course now..1 shift b4 dat i had my Emergency Vehicle course..Sigh...Plus i've just been assigned a new appoinment..Wif 2 appointments in hand plus da new heavy responsibility of the emergency vehicle..and da course i'm undergoin..Its making a drastic change to my life..Its gonna be a bumpy ride..And guess wat? I'm afraid.......hahaha..The great wanderin is afraid..hahaha..sigh...
i haf dis bad habit of not sharing my werk problems wif my family or gf. I dunnoe y..It can easily tick me off when one asks abt my werk life!! So u see, i cant rely on my colleagues, and i haf no one to talk to..so where do i go to? Hopefully dat explains why i'm not always around..trying to solve my problems..at times just bein alone to sooth myself or wif my frens to go crazy n forget abt my stress..At times i just wanna.........Well, dats life.. =)
This is wanderin spiritz a.k.a WS signin off..To all dose who regard me as their fren, May GOD be wif us all in our journey. And GOD BLESS US ALL! Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim.
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