28th October 2005

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do"
Eleanor Roosevelt

Just got back to wat seem a very long day..Just completed de Fire Simulator Instructor Course. Pretty kewl! Its amazing how modern technology can recreate various diff fires!

Today somehow dares a smile on my face..Y? Coz my bike's 'runnin in' is almost complete! Finally dares POWER! Else i can't even go beyong 80km/h! Almost fell asleep several times at dat speed! Dangerous!

How's my mom doin? Haven visited her. Doc said she got some kidney infection n suspect her havin a small stone in da kidney..Shssshh! Can't dey just confirm it n get it over n done wif! I seriously lack of sleep, my eyes r like swollen..n I hafta finish my werk..grrr..Getting agitated easily..

Oh well, ya all take care. Selamat berbuka!

TiMe 2 LeT gO...

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do"
Eleanor Roosevelt

Good morning!
Just had my "sahur". After the drowing incident wif my bike, well, actully during da time i was swimin fer my life, I realise how much I love aini. Took me awhile but, she's growing on me. At times, i won't speak to her fer days, its not dat i dun wan to but i just can't. yeah i knoe its very wierd. But when i can, i try to keep her as happy as much as I can.

Letting go of my bike was a big sacrfice. Its like saying goodbye to my past. I think dat bike alone has eaten up to 10k! Gosh! A really bad investment.
Its not just da bike, but I let go one of my arowana, my discus, my kois! the house was just too messy wif all dese pets!
Just now, the 3 kittens n their mother was left somewhere far away..They're a really more den a handful to take care of. Shitting here n there! N da mother shit in my neighbour's pots! Boy was she making so much fuss, all da way up to da market n relatives!

I haf not started to plan fer da chalet.. i knoe some r disappointed abt it..Insya-Allah I'll look into it. Perhaps if its impossible to organise one, we'll just replace it wif an over nite bbq. See how lah..1 thing at a time..Nitez peepz..

A sErIeS oF uNfOrTuNaTe eVeNtS..

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do"
Eleanor Roosevelt

A Series of unfortunate events some might say.. After one incident to de other, some may find dis darkness unbearable. Perhaps thanks to this holy month of Ramadan, there's actually light even thought its pitch dark..

I just came back from Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Its my mom... She hospitalised now. Still under observation. The Docs suspect her havin some sort of infection in her kidney and the presense of stone in her kidney. I totally din know how to react when i got home from werk. I was sleepin (din sleep at werk..) n my mom mumbling something then she just sad by me in agony waiting fer me to wake up. I was literally fightin myself to wake up. Gosh who can bear to see their mother crying in agony. Wats worst i found out she was in worst condition n my dad din wanna call da ambulance. Boy am i pissed off wif him! Called some stupid doc to come over! Wat da Fuck was he thinkin! Is it a question of money over life? Wat went through his egoistict mind!
Heard my mom was sufferin through da whole nite... Oh Dear God..Now hopefully she's in good hands now. Wonder how's she doin..

Last week i ran into some sort of an accident..It was a Sun..It was raining da whole day, and some areas of Singappore was actually flooded. I was on my was home from TPE n i decided to take a short cut through Seletar Airport. I came to the round about and there it was, TOTALLY FLOODED! The car in front of me attempted n made it. I din spot de other cars whom were actually stucked dare! It soo cold dat i din stop to access da situation. The method was correct, to engaed in first gear/half clutch and high rev. BUT! I was looking down to ensure it was not too deep, without realisin dat i was off-course! There is actually a 3m deep drain dat runs across the round about!!! In short my bike went in n ...Da current in da water was sooo strong..Luckily i managed to grap hold of something..Told myself not to panic but to SWIM!
Kinda kewl experience..Dat nite after break fast, da TP called, said da bike had been found! lol..So I cycled dare to find my bike in da 3M DEEP DRAIN STILL STANDING UPRIGHT WITHOUT A SCRATCH!!! lol Costs me 60 buck to extricate dat bike n to transport it to my workshop.. After werk i straight away went to my werkshop..n sigh..just as predicted it'll cost up to 1k to repair it. so i though..just to give it up. It holds too many memories..n it has swolled too much money..So i decided to trade in da bike!

My eyes cant take it anymore..i like sooo exhausted..need my sleep..continue some other time..haven really sleep since i got back from werk n i'm on course later..sigh...

4th October 2005

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do"

Eleanor Roosevelt

Good evening!
Wah! Its FASTING MONTH! How time flies..How time flies.. Yesterday had a mini gatherin at a nearby coffeeshop wif ma ex pri mates..Mar, Rin, Yani, Im n myself. It was pretty much a last minute thing. Mar decided to haf a gatherin to welcome da month of ramadan. We too discussed the upcoming chalet in Dec. They wanted a special kinda gatherin n dey wanted a chalet. IN DEC! So I though y not..since its my badae y not i sponsor da chalet! *lol* I've never had a chalet b4. I mean to organize one! I haven decide to make it an all frenz thingie or famli n frenz kinda chalet.. I still haven decided which kinda frenz to invite. Dun get me wrong. All r frenz just dat sum won't get along wif de other! n I dun wan my main circle to be left out.

Well, dats a dist worry. Fer not, I'm kinda demoralized. DAres a reshuffling n i hear dat I'm bein transfered out to another Rota. Sucks man..Sigh..So 'm like feelin gloomy..

Boo n me? hmmm..making things work. Feels responsible fer her..kahkha..I'm still on da move. Wif so many last min workshops n courses n meetings..Sigh..Dats life aye! I serously need to improve my fitness. Its slacking..Gosh sooo many Goals to achieve but soo little time to work fer it. Enough of my whining. Addious ppepz! Take care ya all!

28th September 2005

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."
-Aeschylus

Good Afternnon!
Its rainin CATS & DOGS! And I got to attend AAR @ 1430 @ Telok Kurau Camp! Ayoooo!! Seems like a tiny reanactment of a hurricane! "Sisir Aúzubillah!" Strong winds n heavy rain. Scary de man! Anyways, hmmm..dun really know wat to blog abt. Lets see..

Finally I'm like restin at home. Doin nothing much. Been on da move since my bike got out. Hahaha..Its wierd dat so many last min things crop up. Fortunately i got transportation.

Seriously I dun knoe wat to blog abt. Except dese past few days, my mind has been on my bike. Thoughts abt upgrading n how serious i am abt riding. Thoughts of how dangerous it is. Yesterday, i made 2 mistakes dat was dangerous. I had a pillion! Wat da F%*$ was I thinking! I'm afraind of ridin when my mind is half shut down. Unable to reason my decisions in time. Its no joke. Which is why i prefer to keep to da speed limits. i rather ride on da safe zone n let others say wat dey want. Unless ur absolutely sure then u should make ur move!

2 yrs on public transport wat do ya expect! but somehow it seems like yesterday I was riding. I still recall how naive n hot tempered back den. Made so many foolish decisions. 2yrs of fasting made me value wat i haf. Da freedom to ride, my bike n most important life itself. I enjoy riding be it in da fast lane or da slow lane. It gives a sense of peace. Especially at night when dares no one on da road.

Bein a rider ain't dat simple. Dares a code of conduct u hafta follow. I'm not talking abt those laws n all. I'm talking abt street codes! Disrespect em n others may intrepete ur challenging em! In other words courtesy. i dun wanna go too detail in it. Lets talk abt attire wise. i'm a little particular abt da attire i wear when i'm riding. Firstly i dun react to cold very well. Which is y u always see me wearin a jacket n long pants n shoes. If i can i wanna wear my gloves, but it looks a little over! Hahaha..Seriously when it get cold, i can really shiver..Especially at night.

Why jeans, jacket n shoes? Well, besides da coldness, its da safety aspect. Prevention is better den cure. Simple as dat. Some ask why do i always wear my jacket inverted. Answer is simple, aerodynamic. At first i ignored all dese but dare was one point when it poured cats n dogs, i was wearin full rain coat back den, gusts of wind seems to be trapped by my jacket, creating a kinda parachute effect causing u to steer out of course easily. Den dares another reason, When I was young, i observed y all these uncles wear it all inverted! Now I know y!

Things just dun happen without a reason. Think abt it. Observe n ask y! Seems like da "mini storm" has passed! I can see clear skies. Its time fer me to get ready now. Cheers peepz!

Norlyana's 22nd bdae celebration

Norlyana's 22nd Bdae

Greetings!
Had an advance bdae celebration on 25th sept 2005 at Sembawang Park. Who was dare? Shirin, Mar, Yani, Hafiz, Im, Lyana n myself..7 in total..
Mar baked a cheeze cake fer da bdae gerl..khakha..while Rin did da sketch book! Me? rushed ard to get one PHOTO PRINTED!!! khakha..Expensive sia!

Oh well, Darlin couldn't make it. She wanted to but dhe got her own bdae party to attento plus drivin lesson. So told her not to rush. Khekhe..
Her she had loads of fun. So did I..Thank You God. It was like a blessing.

Anyways, da bdae gerl kena psycoed to BLANJA US ALL!! lol So we went to ermm..wats dat place called..beside Mobil..Along Sembawang Road..Erm..Rubiah or smtg like dat..

So now..I'm like full..later looks like a long day at werk! Cheers! may God bless us all!
May One day our path cross again! May God Bless US ALL! Amin!

25th Spetember 2005

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."
-Aeschylus

Greetings,
Just read someone's blog, I think she got my name wrongly SPELLED! Hahaha..
I know u haf put in soo much effort, but i just cant help it. Fighting this feeling. Guess i'm cursed. Unable to feel love at all. Love is indeed "suatu anugerah dari Tuhan". At time I'd miss u but at times i just feel anger. But.."aku pasrah, adakah ini suatu ujian bagi ku? Ape pun jua aku terima dgn iklas."
All feelings haf been switched off. Dares da desire to be alone. To be wif HIM. I haf failed once to be in solitute..I dunno wats goin on. My mind's always flying off but my heart is thinkin of HIM. I dun mean to hurt u. I just need time to sort things out. Dun worry its not dat of a big deal. ;)

Werk? Had a friction wif one of my colleague, but luckly i kept cool..its like suddenly i lost all feelings n my focus was on him..Awaiting fer him to to cross da line. Din think of it much till i got home. The thing abt controling ur anger is dat it'll eat u up when ur cooled.. Its like u cant let go.. At da same time u dun wanna blow up or vent it all out. Perhapz u wouldnt wanna make things more complication. Perhaps u wouldnt wanna hurt de other person. I tried sleeping over it but still..Hahaha..Masya-Allah..

Oh well, today my ex pri frens r celebrating 2 of our frens bdays. Seems like dese circle of frens r pretty much strong n on goin. I thank God fer dat. just sad Boo cant be join. She wanted but its too rushing. So i dun wanna tire her. Let her focus in her TP. All da best!

Seems like a good weather to wash my bike ;)
Addious peepz..Take care!

22th September 2005

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."
-Aeschylus

A very Good Evening!
Yupz I knoe i've been away fer quite sume time..hehe..Been on da move lately. Especially wif my baby! I've never traveled so wide! been to geylang, bishan, bedok reservoir..upper changi..etc..etc..
haha..Last time was darn scared to move ard..Now seems adventuous..ape ke tak, 2 tahun PUASA!!
But still at times a bit scarry...
Ayways, today was rather disappointing, i was really looking forward to a movie butt..sigh..
o well..I'm like soooo exhausted..
seems a lot of stuff coming..but cant think wat now..
To all ya peepz! take care yar! Just because i'm not ard or not reply does not mean i'm not thinkin of ur all! peace ya all!
May God be wif us all..

Where's da food! 

Lets Fish! 

My very first fish! Ikan Grapu! 

My baby now.. 

My baby back den.. 

100th Post!

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."
-Aeschylus

Good Morning!
Wow! Finally got time to blog! This is my 100th post! amazing how time flies! Last i remember i was hearth broken and i started to blog..hahaha..How time flies..how time flies..
I just got back from JB..y? haha..
Went in to pump petrol n ehem..do some minor adjustments..on wat? hahaha..(read on..)

Wat haf i been up to? pretty much by myself actually. no time spent wif boo too.. I dunno wats happenin..But i hope everything will be fine. So, as i was saying, wat haf i been up too..so far i can remember 3 major events dat made some impact on my life. Firstly, was da D&D @ Pan Pacific wif Boo..her workplace's annual dinner..First time i attended some function like dis..Secondly, da fishing trip I had wif my colleagues. We went deep sea fishing sometime back. Can't really remember when. Few days back i think..We were on a boat somewhere ard West Coast..N guess wat, I caught my very first FISH! Masya-Allah..Wat a great feeling! Learnt so many knots..Soon i think i wanna start fishing..

Next is, I JUST GOT BACK MY BABY!!! Yupz my long lost BIKE!! We've been apart fer like 2 yrs..Miss him so much! Got it last Sat..So dis make me my 2nd day riding it..For the first time, I really enjoyed riding! Din mind at wat speed, just ride..I remember dat night at da station, my first time washing my baby after so many yrs. It brought back memories.. I Guess i almost teared..Haha..well, u knoe i know..If u dun den..u hafta read in btw da lines! ;)

I think I post some pics on my blog..I'm feelin kinda lonely now..dunnoe if i miss boo or..ermm..sigh..hahaha..y cant i just let go..

Boo's been very patience wif me. Am really messed up. Dunnoe lah wat to do..Sigh..Bearing dat in mind, i'like trying to give n take..Sigh..We've haven been talking much..Just a hello n bye kinda thing. Dunno wats happening..sigh..

Enough of my rambling..oh dear, da cost of petrol is really high now..In Singapore i can only get abt 5 litres compared to M'sia where i can get a full tank..Ayoo..Pretty expensive..Aight..aint feeling too Gd..night..

13th September 2005

"When the heart has acquired stillness, it will look upon the heights and depths of knowledge, and the intellect, once quieted, will be given to hear wonderful things from God."
-Hesychios the Martyr

Hmmm..
Greetings...A bit gloomy.., Yesterday was boo's bday..din "happly" sepnt time wif her. was raining n all..Bought her a fossil watch. Latest design wif latest PRICE!! haha..worth it.

Wat i do today? went ard spending 50 bucks. bought vcd, sushi, marker, fish food..By da way, i cycle all da way to woodlands (actually just after sembawang) to meet my long lost baby..Sigh..when will we be reunited again! I urge fer dat day to come. Soon..soon..insya-allah..

me n boo? actually on da rocks. Me as usual..dun knoe wats wrong. I'm holding to my safety line..nothing too serious to worry abt..(i hope..)

o well, werk..werk..werk..

Goodbye Titi

Passed away on 9th September 2005

31st August 2005, Wednesday Night

"When the heart has acquired stillness, it will look upon the heights and depths of knowledge, and the intellect, once quieted, will be given to hear wonderful things from God."
-Hesychios the Martyr

Good eveinn to all!
The wheels in my head has begun to spin. I realise dat I aint getting any younger! Its time fer a proper savings! *lol*. Operation "Cost efficiency" is underway! Trimming loose ends here and dare. Insya-Allah, I'm able to trim the roots of my PROBLEM! The 2YRS CAUSE OF FINANCIAL FRICTION!

BUT! There's always a but! We humans only plan but HE has the FINAL SAY! Hahahaha..
I can only pray that i'm doing the right thing and that all will go well! Insya-Allah.

I just realise something, did u knoe dat ur certificates such as O'level or NITEC or Dip of watever lah has an EXPIRY DATE!!!! GOSH!! Dat SUCKS!! I found out dat ur O'Level expires in 3 YRS!!! So now my O'level is just a piece of JUNK PAPER! *SIGH* Its actually more fer those who wants to continue their education via MOE. Like goin back to Poly as full time student or something like dat. Aint to sure abt P/T students. Ain't too sure abt private institutions.

So, fer ya who's thinkin of stopping their study, think again! u only GOT 3 YRS oF VACATIONS! *lol* Oh yah, one more thing, ur cert will remain valid if ur werkin in ur related field ie. if u haf a dip in engineerinm u better be in da related field instead of werkin in some cafe! Its sooo disappointing aye? Now i knoe why dey say once ur out of the education sys its hard to get back in! *Sob..sob..

Thats so much fer now. Seems like i got lots of upcomin events next mth! no time fer my darlin i suppose..Take care n God Bless us all!

29th August 2005, Monday Night

"When the heart has acquired stillness, it will look upon the heights and depths of knowledge, and the intellect, once quieted, will be given to hear wonderful things from God."
-Hesychios the Martyr

Good evening,
I just watched dis indon drama, "Astargfillah". Its a drama based on past accounts. Today's show is abt how one uses sihir to break apart 2 lovers. Actually i watched a couple of episodes. How one uses djinn to create havoc n all. Wats so unique abt dis show is dat at de end of it, dis ustaz will recite versus from the Holy Quran n somewat give "pedoman" Masya-Allah. It is stated in the Holy Quran in surah AlBaqarah, dat such sihir exists, where hatred is used to break apart Husband n Wife, Wife n husband, and even 2 lovers. Masya-Allah. How zalim dese ppl can be. To misuse such abilities. Ya-Allah..Dare was one episode dat mirrors wat i went through in life. Masya-Allah. "Ya-Allah, aku bersyukur kerana KAU masih menetapkan Iman ku.."

Wat i wen through is nothing to wat dose ppl in Indon face everyday. Sihir is a part of their everyday weapon. I recall da time when i went to Java, no matter how nice one can be, its da heart dat matters. Its hard to say. They face hardship, poverty. The way I look at it, ONLY DA STRONG SURVIVES! Banyak pekara yg aneh2..

Masya-Allah, I am so thankful to GOD of my present life. Masya-Allah! Its rainin now! At night! ALHAMDULLILAH!

29th August 2005, Monday Evenin

"When the heart has acquired stillness, it will look upon the heights and depths of knowledge, and the intellect, once quieted, will be given to hear wonderful things from God."
-Hesychios the Martyr

Good evenin!
Just watched jap animae! "Legend of da condor Hero.." I'm like sooo attached to da show! Grrr..I'll be missing tomorrow's episodes. Unless I can reach home b4 10am da following day! grr.. Just like "Samurai X"..Grrr MUST FIND DA VCDS!!! ANYONE KNOES WHERE TO LOOK FER IT?????

Anyways, Its soooo windy da whole afternoon. It'll be beautiful to go picnic or just a walk by da beach!
Couldn't even concentrate on my game. Suddenly things r getting hard. n my head is like aching! Plus i'm feelin sick. Oh yah, by da way, my sis got fever since like last week. Now she's suspected to haf dengue fever! Sigh..Just sent her blood fer testing. I 'm like sooo in a dry spell!

I was feelin so letargic. Feel like falling sick. So, I got up, took a shower n went stright to da recreational field! Hahahaha..Went fer "leisure" run/jog. Took a slow jog one round da field stop n did some streatching. den i decided to run round da estate! HAhahahah.. Psychologically it HELPS!! IT WERKS!! Ran passed da swimming pool, up da polyclinic, passed SAFRA passed da community centre, passed GV n all da way back home! A total of abt 15mins of run. Felt like 2.4 km of slighlty less. Hahahaha.. Dats just da beginin. Planning to run further up! Its better den running rounds. if u ain't mentally prepared u easily give up. I Remember da run at ubin during my OBS. 10 clicks was FUN! hahaha..Da scenery/atmosphere really does make a diff! i pretty much enjoy my run today. Feeling good rite now. Speaking of which, grrrr..I haf not iron my uniform! Take care ya peepz!

29th August 2005, Monday noon

"When the heart has acquired stillness, it will look upon the heights and depths of knowledge, and the intellect, once quieted, will be given to hear wonderful things from God."
-Hesychios the Martyr

Good afternoon!
Wow! Spliting headache! Didn't sleep fer like 36hrs. Got back from werk yesterday, couldn't sleep. Guess aint use to it. Lazy ard pretty much yesterday. Played my game "ROME-Total War" hehehe..

Evening yesterday was pretty much unexpected. My darlin's evening class was canceled so we decided to meet. Din know where actually. I was havin a throbbing headache by then. Hahaha..always cracky abt goin out late evening. Decided to go to ECP. Missed da sunset of course! Hahaha..

Sat by da water breaker. WoW! The tide was coming in, the wind was sooo strong n cooling. It was perfect. I could almost sleep dare. hahaha.. But of course by den, rodents n roaches n other walks of life were out scavenging fer food! I was worried dat i might get cranky n all. But thank God i wasn't. I'd say we had a great time. Darlin was laughin n all. I guess she deserve it.

Anyways, when i got home, after washing up n all, it took less then a split second n da tv was watchin me! hahahha.. Black out totally! Got up in time fer my fav jap animae! "Legend of the condor hero..." Something like dat! I MUST source out dat VCD n PURCHASE IT!!!! missed quite a few episodes! Tomorrow oso be missin it! :(

Its back to werk now. Kinda groggy rite now. I wonder how my frens are doin. Kinda miss em all. how I wish we could like make an overnite bbq, camping kirekan! With yesterday's setting! Ghost stories! hahahaha..Mesti best! Actually yearning to organise a chalet. But getting da ppl dare is a prob. hmmm..Tu lah..leceh..Masing2 busy dgn hal masing2...

Aight! take care ya all!